Hi, Friend,
I had the chance to take my son to church camp in the hills of Watsonville for a couple of days last week. My daughter was already there. What a wonderfully peaceful and relaxing time. It was fun to watch my kids and their friends play and work together, and worship God as they learned more about Him and themselves. There was an incredible worship band, too, and they sang this one song with us, called Hosanna. One of the lines talked about worshipping the Lord as we pass from earth into eternity, then moves into a chorus of Hosannas. As we were singing, my husband's aunt, who has fought a battle with cancer for a long time, came to mind. She had just been moved to a Hospice facility, so we knew her time was near the end, and for some reason, I began to picture her as she entered the presence of her Lord, and how she would soon have the chance to worship Him in person. This morning, on her birthday, she lost that battle with cancer. She left behind a body that was full of disease, that couldn't support her, that was full of pain, and entered the presence of the Perfect One, the Healer, the Creator.
I need you to know that that is what keeps me going. It's called hope. I grow weary of the fight, the things that go with it, never giving up, but just weary sometimes. It has become part of my life, and for the most part, something that I don't overly dwell on, but at the same time, it never goes away. However, through it all I stand on the hope that comes only from a relationship with Jesus. I know that in the good and in the bad times, He is with me, He never changes, He is enough to see me through. This is just life on earth, wonderful at times, but nothing compared to what is in store for us in Heaven. I am sad at the loss of our aunt, but so very happy that she is whole and complete and with Jesus.
As an update, I am in the third week of this seventh round of chemo. I started school last week, still job sharing the position but with a new partner, and really like my class of 26 kids. I'm feeling well, overall, with no new side effects but several regular ones that are irritating, and an overlying feeling of being tired all the time. Matt and I will head to UCSF on September 14th, where I will have CT scans in the morning, and see the good doctor that same afternoon to go over the results as well as those of my blood test. I feel your prayers on a daily basis, and am thankful for those of you who have made me a permanent name on your prayer list. I will ask that those of you that know my husband's family will prayer for his mom and her two sisters as they face the loss of their sister, and for the families as well.
Walking in Hope,
Danene
August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
In the Nick of Time
Hi Friends and Family,
My mom and I were at UCSF yesterday to see the good doctor for a check-in appointment. It was her first time to meet him, and he was in a fun mood. We were just consulting on the results of my latest blood test, which had no new surprises. My thryoid TSH level is even lower now (.01, with a normal range being .3-5), so we are pretty much playing a waiting game for it to fail outright. Apparently there is no rush on our part! The extreme of how my thyroid is acting would explain a few of my side effects, though. He took pretty extensive notes (with the help of another 'trainee') on all of the side effects I had this last time, and again they are all expected, just varying from time to time in the degree. I also took the CD of my last scans, which he hadn't seen yet. We looked at them together-very strange as it is like you are looking at yourself through the middle from head to toe lengthwise. It took awhile to get the perspective, but my mom and I finally figured it out, and saw the little specks in my lungs. The doctor was glad to see the scans for himself, as he thinks they don't look as badly as the report led him to believe. In fact, he thinks that the larger 'irregular opacity' might not even be a tumor, but an infection. The next scans in 6 weeks will be very interesting to compare. So...I start my 7th round of chemo (9 full months, now) on Thursday. I was also told, and expected to hear, that the year mark is not a magical number. It's a wait and see time as to what will come after that. God is good, as I was prepared to hear that.
My mom and I went to the Ferry Building after the appointment, as it was gorgeous, walking-around-in-shirtsleeves weather. In San Francisco, I can park free in most places with my handicapped placard, so we found a place on the street, checked that it was okay with the parking gal who rides around in the little cart giving out tickets, and left, not needing to buy a metered tag for the windshield. Well, after we ate and checked out the shops in the Ferry Building, we were strolling back towards the car with our Peet's, and I look ahead and saw that my car and all the others around it were surrounded my tow trucks! Now to get to the car, I had to cross a double-wide street with a train running through the middle of it. I made it to the last part, but the traffic light would not change, and only my car was left for them to tow...and they were loading it up! Finally, the cars passed, and even though the light hadn't changed, I went running. I told the officer in charge what the situation was, and he informed me that the magical hour of 3:00 had passed, and all cars were towed after that time...and that it was posted on the place where you buy your pass, and on street signs. Well, I shared (very respectfully) that I had checked with the meter gal, and that since I hadn't needed to buy one of those passes, I didn't know the magical time, and the sign nearby was hidden in the trees. I really hadn't seen it! He was very firm, but also very gracious. He told me I would get my car, and no ticket, but to be aware the next time. Folks, my car was already hooked to the truck and they were ready to drive away when I ran up. God is so good. Without even knowing, my mom and I were in the right place in the nick of time to avoid who knows what hassles that would have resulted. I have been thanking Him ever since. Isn't this proof that He cares for even the details in our lives?
Humbly,
Danene
August 4, 2009
My mom and I were at UCSF yesterday to see the good doctor for a check-in appointment. It was her first time to meet him, and he was in a fun mood. We were just consulting on the results of my latest blood test, which had no new surprises. My thryoid TSH level is even lower now (.01, with a normal range being .3-5), so we are pretty much playing a waiting game for it to fail outright. Apparently there is no rush on our part! The extreme of how my thyroid is acting would explain a few of my side effects, though. He took pretty extensive notes (with the help of another 'trainee') on all of the side effects I had this last time, and again they are all expected, just varying from time to time in the degree. I also took the CD of my last scans, which he hadn't seen yet. We looked at them together-very strange as it is like you are looking at yourself through the middle from head to toe lengthwise. It took awhile to get the perspective, but my mom and I finally figured it out, and saw the little specks in my lungs. The doctor was glad to see the scans for himself, as he thinks they don't look as badly as the report led him to believe. In fact, he thinks that the larger 'irregular opacity' might not even be a tumor, but an infection. The next scans in 6 weeks will be very interesting to compare. So...I start my 7th round of chemo (9 full months, now) on Thursday. I was also told, and expected to hear, that the year mark is not a magical number. It's a wait and see time as to what will come after that. God is good, as I was prepared to hear that.
My mom and I went to the Ferry Building after the appointment, as it was gorgeous, walking-around-in-shirtsleeves weather. In San Francisco, I can park free in most places with my handicapped placard, so we found a place on the street, checked that it was okay with the parking gal who rides around in the little cart giving out tickets, and left, not needing to buy a metered tag for the windshield. Well, after we ate and checked out the shops in the Ferry Building, we were strolling back towards the car with our Peet's, and I look ahead and saw that my car and all the others around it were surrounded my tow trucks! Now to get to the car, I had to cross a double-wide street with a train running through the middle of it. I made it to the last part, but the traffic light would not change, and only my car was left for them to tow...and they were loading it up! Finally, the cars passed, and even though the light hadn't changed, I went running. I told the officer in charge what the situation was, and he informed me that the magical hour of 3:00 had passed, and all cars were towed after that time...and that it was posted on the place where you buy your pass, and on street signs. Well, I shared (very respectfully) that I had checked with the meter gal, and that since I hadn't needed to buy one of those passes, I didn't know the magical time, and the sign nearby was hidden in the trees. I really hadn't seen it! He was very firm, but also very gracious. He told me I would get my car, and no ticket, but to be aware the next time. Folks, my car was already hooked to the truck and they were ready to drive away when I ran up. God is so good. Without even knowing, my mom and I were in the right place in the nick of time to avoid who knows what hassles that would have resulted. I have been thanking Him ever since. Isn't this proof that He cares for even the details in our lives?
Humbly,
Danene
August 4, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
WALKING Through the Valley
Hi, Friends,
Two more days and this round of chemo is over. Yahoo! It's been a long month. I was doing quite well (just normal, to-be-expected side effects) until last week when our family went camping and fishing at Mosquito Lake. It's such a beautiful setting just past Lake Alpine, at 8050 feet. About the third day into our trip, though, the altitude got to me, and I had a hard time getting enough air, zapping me of any energy as well. Fortunately, Matt's parents were with us and my mother-in-law had her inhaler with her. That helped get me through the next day and a half until we headed home. I have noticed that I am tired A LOT lately. Perhaps the answer is in the additional blood test I had during my last visit at UCSF. It showed that two additional markers of my thyroid came back within normal range, but that my thyroid stimulating hormone is still abnormally low, which suggests that my thyroid is failing, but my body is trying its hardest to compensate for that. This can continue for awhile, but eventually I will probably need to go on thyroid replacement therapy. I've been assured by family members who are on replacement therapy already, and by the doctors, that this is nothing to worry about. However, it will be just one more pill to add to my already almost-bursting pink pill case!
Not long ago I read a fun book called Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes. In it, a gal gets a call from her doctor that she has had an abnormal mammogram and needs a biopsy. Before she does anything, she gets on a plane to go visit her penpal of 40 years, in Holland. While she is there, many hilarious things happen, but she also has some profound moments as she deals with what may come in her life. One of these moments she finds in the 23rd Psalm. As she is reading it, her friend notices that it says "Even though I WALK through the valley of the shadow of death." That's different from stopping in the valley or sitting down under the shadow of death and just giving up. We don't stop and get stuck in the dark places.
I took the first step into that valley when the doctor called and told me I had cancer. While I do have moments I fear evil, I know that God is with me. His rod and staff are there to comfort me. The shepherd's rod was used for discipline and the staff for rescue. So what represents His rod and staff in my life? Well, many of you are the tools of the Great Shepherd in my life, keeping me close to Him, and encouraging and admonishing me with verses and words of wisdom. Oh, there are so many times I feel so helpless as I go on this journey, but God is taking care of me so wonderfully in this valley. I wonder why that is such an unexpected discovery...
Thank you all, my rods and staffs, for your prayers, and being tools for the Father in my life.
Danene
July 21, 2009
Two more days and this round of chemo is over. Yahoo! It's been a long month. I was doing quite well (just normal, to-be-expected side effects) until last week when our family went camping and fishing at Mosquito Lake. It's such a beautiful setting just past Lake Alpine, at 8050 feet. About the third day into our trip, though, the altitude got to me, and I had a hard time getting enough air, zapping me of any energy as well. Fortunately, Matt's parents were with us and my mother-in-law had her inhaler with her. That helped get me through the next day and a half until we headed home. I have noticed that I am tired A LOT lately. Perhaps the answer is in the additional blood test I had during my last visit at UCSF. It showed that two additional markers of my thyroid came back within normal range, but that my thyroid stimulating hormone is still abnormally low, which suggests that my thyroid is failing, but my body is trying its hardest to compensate for that. This can continue for awhile, but eventually I will probably need to go on thyroid replacement therapy. I've been assured by family members who are on replacement therapy already, and by the doctors, that this is nothing to worry about. However, it will be just one more pill to add to my already almost-bursting pink pill case!
Not long ago I read a fun book called Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes. In it, a gal gets a call from her doctor that she has had an abnormal mammogram and needs a biopsy. Before she does anything, she gets on a plane to go visit her penpal of 40 years, in Holland. While she is there, many hilarious things happen, but she also has some profound moments as she deals with what may come in her life. One of these moments she finds in the 23rd Psalm. As she is reading it, her friend notices that it says "Even though I WALK through the valley of the shadow of death." That's different from stopping in the valley or sitting down under the shadow of death and just giving up. We don't stop and get stuck in the dark places.
I took the first step into that valley when the doctor called and told me I had cancer. While I do have moments I fear evil, I know that God is with me. His rod and staff are there to comfort me. The shepherd's rod was used for discipline and the staff for rescue. So what represents His rod and staff in my life? Well, many of you are the tools of the Great Shepherd in my life, keeping me close to Him, and encouraging and admonishing me with verses and words of wisdom. Oh, there are so many times I feel so helpless as I go on this journey, but God is taking care of me so wonderfully in this valley. I wonder why that is such an unexpected discovery...
Thank you all, my rods and staffs, for your prayers, and being tools for the Father in my life.
Danene
July 21, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
My Portion
Dear Friends,
I have to tell you that through my experience with cancer there have been many times that I have been tempted to throw a pity party and invite fear, worry, and dread. It's hard to stay positive and dwell on all the good that happens in my life in the midst of the not-so-fun. I had that temptation after meeting with Dr. Ryan to go over the results of my blood test and scans. The good news is that I previously had four nodules in my lungs and now only two of those remain. The bad news is that the two that remain have doubled in size from mm to cm, and there are two new ones. There are also some new lymph nodes in my chest area that are suspicious at this point. My blood test shows that my thyroid stimulating hormone has gone from one extreme to the other in six weeks, from double-normal to almost non-existent. So I had another more specific blood test and may have to visit my endocrinologist again to see if anything needs to be done. In the meantime, I will battle by continuing the Sutent. I started my sixth round last night.
Let me tell you about a different party that I chose to throw instead of that pity party. I studied it while I was in a Beth Moore Bible study on the book of Esther. In a nutshell, in Esther, there was an irreversible edict that would allow the Jews to be annihilated. But through many God-circumstances that reversed their destiny, an additional edict was presented that would allow the Jews to defend themselves. On the day after the two days of attack and defense, the Jews rested and made it a day of feasting and celebration. This became an annual celebration of the time when the Jews got relief from their enemies and when their sorrow was turned into joy and their mourning into a day of celebration with feasting and joy and the giving of portions of food. This was the celebration of Purim. Psalm 16:5-6 says, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure; the boundary lines for me have fallen in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Those three words-destiny, portion, lot-all come from the same Hebrew word. This is how they all fit together: "No matter what life-or Satan himself-hands us, the favor God has on His children causes the 'lot' to tumble out on the table in such a way that, instead of destruction, the child will discover that her portion turned into destiny one trusting step at a time. When all is said and done, she will see that the portion God assigned her was good. Right. Rich. Full of purpose."
So I recently threw a Purim party of my own to celebrate the portion God allotted me, with a time of joy and feasting, and the chance to share with a few of those those who have daily fought my battle with me. I wish you all could have been there. It's not easy to choose to celebrate when you really want to have a pity party...but oh, it's so worth it to remember the goodness of our God and the defeat of our enemy. I don't know what my physical future may hold, but I know what my spiritual one holds, and it is secured for me in heaven.
Please continue to pray, my friends, as I know you do regularly, and for which I give thanks. Pray that the Sutent will work at attacking those nodules, and that any other suspicious areas will become as normal. Pray for those times that I feel defeated because I seem to have so little control over my body due to all of the medications and their side effects. Pray for my family. It's hard to hear that the battle is still on instead of almost over. And pray that we all can find the reasons to celebrate the goodness of our God. He is so faithful.
To all of you who contributed to the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life on my behalf, I offer you my humble thanks. I surpassed my goal for this year and raised $300. I'm touched that you would do that for me, and for all of us that are together in this battle against cancer.
Danene
June 26, 2009
I have to tell you that through my experience with cancer there have been many times that I have been tempted to throw a pity party and invite fear, worry, and dread. It's hard to stay positive and dwell on all the good that happens in my life in the midst of the not-so-fun. I had that temptation after meeting with Dr. Ryan to go over the results of my blood test and scans. The good news is that I previously had four nodules in my lungs and now only two of those remain. The bad news is that the two that remain have doubled in size from mm to cm, and there are two new ones. There are also some new lymph nodes in my chest area that are suspicious at this point. My blood test shows that my thyroid stimulating hormone has gone from one extreme to the other in six weeks, from double-normal to almost non-existent. So I had another more specific blood test and may have to visit my endocrinologist again to see if anything needs to be done. In the meantime, I will battle by continuing the Sutent. I started my sixth round last night.
Let me tell you about a different party that I chose to throw instead of that pity party. I studied it while I was in a Beth Moore Bible study on the book of Esther. In a nutshell, in Esther, there was an irreversible edict that would allow the Jews to be annihilated. But through many God-circumstances that reversed their destiny, an additional edict was presented that would allow the Jews to defend themselves. On the day after the two days of attack and defense, the Jews rested and made it a day of feasting and celebration. This became an annual celebration of the time when the Jews got relief from their enemies and when their sorrow was turned into joy and their mourning into a day of celebration with feasting and joy and the giving of portions of food. This was the celebration of Purim. Psalm 16:5-6 says, "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup. You have made my lot secure; the boundary lines for me have fallen in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Those three words-destiny, portion, lot-all come from the same Hebrew word. This is how they all fit together: "No matter what life-or Satan himself-hands us, the favor God has on His children causes the 'lot' to tumble out on the table in such a way that, instead of destruction, the child will discover that her portion turned into destiny one trusting step at a time. When all is said and done, she will see that the portion God assigned her was good. Right. Rich. Full of purpose."
So I recently threw a Purim party of my own to celebrate the portion God allotted me, with a time of joy and feasting, and the chance to share with a few of those those who have daily fought my battle with me. I wish you all could have been there. It's not easy to choose to celebrate when you really want to have a pity party...but oh, it's so worth it to remember the goodness of our God and the defeat of our enemy. I don't know what my physical future may hold, but I know what my spiritual one holds, and it is secured for me in heaven.
Please continue to pray, my friends, as I know you do regularly, and for which I give thanks. Pray that the Sutent will work at attacking those nodules, and that any other suspicious areas will become as normal. Pray for those times that I feel defeated because I seem to have so little control over my body due to all of the medications and their side effects. Pray for my family. It's hard to hear that the battle is still on instead of almost over. And pray that we all can find the reasons to celebrate the goodness of our God. He is so faithful.
To all of you who contributed to the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life on my behalf, I offer you my humble thanks. I surpassed my goal for this year and raised $300. I'm touched that you would do that for me, and for all of us that are together in this battle against cancer.
Danene
June 26, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Walking for Life
Hi, Friends and Family,
What a full few days this has been. Last Friday my son graduated from 8th grade, having made honor roll 7 out of 8 times. What a proud mom! Hard to believe I am now the mom of a high schooler. Hmmm. Not sure I feel ready for that. The night before, my sister-in-law graduated from nursing school. Having seen all she went through to accomplish this, the tears rolled freely as she walked the aisle and was pinned by her family. What a proud sister! We've had the end of school for all of us, fittings for braces for one, a birthday for the hubby, met our grand-niece for the first time, and so on. Busy!
I am in the last week of this round of chemo. No new side effects, but still sore feet, fighting a cold, and fighting the feeling of being tired. I look forward to the end of this round, for obvious reasons, but also because this time I will have scans and will see the result of why I take the meds. I'll keep you posted on what the results are as they come (appointment at UCSF is June 22nd).
I want to remind you that this weekend is Relay for Life, the walk that raises money for the American Cancer Society, and invite you to come out and join in the festivities, see the luminarias, and donate toward the hope of a cure. If you would like to go to my personal page and learn more, donate to the hope of a cure, or purchase a luminaria in honor or memory of someone you know, you can do so by cutting and pasting this link into your address bar: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY09CA?px=10862144&pg=personal&fr_id=13653. It's really easy and well worth it. Please join our family and many others who have been touched by cancer by getting involved.
Love to you all,
Danene
June 5, 2009
What a full few days this has been. Last Friday my son graduated from 8th grade, having made honor roll 7 out of 8 times. What a proud mom! Hard to believe I am now the mom of a high schooler. Hmmm. Not sure I feel ready for that. The night before, my sister-in-law graduated from nursing school. Having seen all she went through to accomplish this, the tears rolled freely as she walked the aisle and was pinned by her family. What a proud sister! We've had the end of school for all of us, fittings for braces for one, a birthday for the hubby, met our grand-niece for the first time, and so on. Busy!
I am in the last week of this round of chemo. No new side effects, but still sore feet, fighting a cold, and fighting the feeling of being tired. I look forward to the end of this round, for obvious reasons, but also because this time I will have scans and will see the result of why I take the meds. I'll keep you posted on what the results are as they come (appointment at UCSF is June 22nd).
I want to remind you that this weekend is Relay for Life, the walk that raises money for the American Cancer Society, and invite you to come out and join in the festivities, see the luminarias, and donate toward the hope of a cure. If you would like to go to my personal page and learn more, donate to the hope of a cure, or purchase a luminaria in honor or memory of someone you know, you can do so by cutting and pasting this link into your address bar: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY09CA?px=10862144&pg=personal&fr_id=13653. It's really easy and well worth it. Please join our family and many others who have been touched by cancer by getting involved.
Love to you all,
Danene
June 5, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Ding...Round 5 Begins
Hi Friends,
I visited UCSF on Monday to check in with my doctor there and to get blood test results after finishing another round of Sutent. When the medical assistant took my blood pressure, it was finally within normal range, and seems to have regulated some. I will still have to monitor it regularly. The not-so-pleasant side effects from being on the blood pressure medicine also seem to have regulated, which makes me a much more pleasant person to be around! Thank you for all of your prayers on that matter. I actually met with the nurse-practitioner, Tammy, who I had heard about but never met. She was very nice and had already discussed my case with Dr. Ryan. My blood test results were okay, although there are a few things we will have to keep any eye on. My potassium is low, so I will make sure I have foods high in potassium in my diet. My creatinine is high, which means that the blood that is filtered by my kidney has a slightly high level of waste still in it. I was assured that it is nothing to be alarmed about, especially when you only have one kidney doing the job of two, but something to keep an eye on. My thyroid level is also high, so we will wait one more round, and if it is still high the next time, I will have to add thryoid medicine to my list as well. I start the next round of chemo on Thursday night. After this round, in mid-June, I will have scans done to see if there is any change or progress, as well as having a MUGA scan of my heart done to assure that the chemo is not affecting the way my heart pumps, which can happen after being on Sutent long term. (I have been told that long term means several years, so this is just a for a baseline. The plan still remains that I will only be on until November, unless the unexpected occurs.)
For the last two years, Matt and the kids and I have participated in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life by walking in support of those we know who have or have had cancer. Last year we walked for an hour as a family, then I went back and walked in the early morning, as the luminarias were just dwindling, and had a quiet time with the Lord as I prayed for those same people. Little did I know that cancer may have already invaded my own life.
This year, I have joined the team we walked with last year, and will participate in the Survivor's Lap, as well as walking laps with my family, and being there for the lighting of the luminarias. As a team member, I am also trying to raise money for the Cancer Society. If you would like to go to my personal page and learn more, donate to the hope of a cure, or purchase a luminaria in honor or memory of someone you know, you can do so by cutting and pasting this link into your address bar: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY09CA?px=10862144&pg=personal&fr_id=13653. From there, you follow the guidelines provided based on if you would like to donate online, download a form to mail in, purchase a luminaria, or just learn a little more.
Before I finish, I want to share with you a little excerpt from an incredible book I just finished, Same Kind of Different As Me, by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. If you can get your hands on this book, you will be blessed. In the book, Ron (who is white) asks Denver (who is colored, and not sure if he can trust Ron) if they can be friends, and this is Denver's response:
"I heard that when white folks go fishin they do somethin called 'catch and release.' I just can't figure it out. 'Cause when colored folks go fishin, we really proud of what we catch, and we take it and show it off to everybody that'll look. Then we eat what we catch...in other words we use it to sustain us. So it really bothers me that white folks would go to all that trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water. So, Mr. Ron, it occurred to me: If you is fishin for a friend you just gon' catch and release, then I ain't got no desire to be your friend. But if you is lookin for a real friend, then I'll be one. Forever."
I want to thank all of you for sustaining me, for being the kind of friends and family that didn't just catch for awhile, then release, but are real...forever. You have blessed me beyond measure.
Danene
May 13, 2009
I visited UCSF on Monday to check in with my doctor there and to get blood test results after finishing another round of Sutent. When the medical assistant took my blood pressure, it was finally within normal range, and seems to have regulated some. I will still have to monitor it regularly. The not-so-pleasant side effects from being on the blood pressure medicine also seem to have regulated, which makes me a much more pleasant person to be around! Thank you for all of your prayers on that matter. I actually met with the nurse-practitioner, Tammy, who I had heard about but never met. She was very nice and had already discussed my case with Dr. Ryan. My blood test results were okay, although there are a few things we will have to keep any eye on. My potassium is low, so I will make sure I have foods high in potassium in my diet. My creatinine is high, which means that the blood that is filtered by my kidney has a slightly high level of waste still in it. I was assured that it is nothing to be alarmed about, especially when you only have one kidney doing the job of two, but something to keep an eye on. My thyroid level is also high, so we will wait one more round, and if it is still high the next time, I will have to add thryoid medicine to my list as well. I start the next round of chemo on Thursday night. After this round, in mid-June, I will have scans done to see if there is any change or progress, as well as having a MUGA scan of my heart done to assure that the chemo is not affecting the way my heart pumps, which can happen after being on Sutent long term. (I have been told that long term means several years, so this is just a for a baseline. The plan still remains that I will only be on until November, unless the unexpected occurs.)
For the last two years, Matt and the kids and I have participated in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life by walking in support of those we know who have or have had cancer. Last year we walked for an hour as a family, then I went back and walked in the early morning, as the luminarias were just dwindling, and had a quiet time with the Lord as I prayed for those same people. Little did I know that cancer may have already invaded my own life.
This year, I have joined the team we walked with last year, and will participate in the Survivor's Lap, as well as walking laps with my family, and being there for the lighting of the luminarias. As a team member, I am also trying to raise money for the Cancer Society. If you would like to go to my personal page and learn more, donate to the hope of a cure, or purchase a luminaria in honor or memory of someone you know, you can do so by cutting and pasting this link into your address bar: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY09CA?px=10862144&pg=personal&fr_id=13653. From there, you follow the guidelines provided based on if you would like to donate online, download a form to mail in, purchase a luminaria, or just learn a little more.
Before I finish, I want to share with you a little excerpt from an incredible book I just finished, Same Kind of Different As Me, by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. If you can get your hands on this book, you will be blessed. In the book, Ron (who is white) asks Denver (who is colored, and not sure if he can trust Ron) if they can be friends, and this is Denver's response:
"I heard that when white folks go fishin they do somethin called 'catch and release.' I just can't figure it out. 'Cause when colored folks go fishin, we really proud of what we catch, and we take it and show it off to everybody that'll look. Then we eat what we catch...in other words we use it to sustain us. So it really bothers me that white folks would go to all that trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water. So, Mr. Ron, it occurred to me: If you is fishin for a friend you just gon' catch and release, then I ain't got no desire to be your friend. But if you is lookin for a real friend, then I'll be one. Forever."
I want to thank all of you for sustaining me, for being the kind of friends and family that didn't just catch for awhile, then release, but are real...forever. You have blessed me beyond measure.
Danene
May 13, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Misery is a Choice
Hi, Friends,
I found this past week that I may have met my match. Throughout this cancer journey, I have been able to handle the inflamed feet, the aching and tender hands, the gray, wiry hair (okay, so I'm frowning on that one), and so on, all of which have not lasted too long or haven't even shown up on this last round, which ended last Wednesday. But my newest foe are the side effects that go with the high blood pressure medicine I am on, and they may just take me down! Gas, cramps, bloating, diarrhea...if you only knew how humbling that is to share. It's been a long week and it has affected everything from family to work to daily plans and sleep. I'm in touch with the nurse at UCSF, and we are working together to find out how to stop all of this, which all ties in with the chemo and the steroids/lack of adrenal glands. I see Dr. Ryan, my oncologist, next Monday at 11:30, so hopefully we will find a solution at that time.
Sunday, our pastor shared some principles for living through tough times. What appropriate timing for me to hear those, as I was feeling a little sorry for myself. I was reminded of many wonderful verses that take us the way of the cross through those tough times. I was also reminded that 'trouble comes to all; misery, however, is a choice.' Wow. I'm not the only one living with troubles, and I definitely don't want to make the choice of taking those troubles to the misery level. A timely message for me!
I'll update you again after I meet with Dr. Ryan next week. Thank you all for your continued prayers.
Danene
May 4, 2009
I found this past week that I may have met my match. Throughout this cancer journey, I have been able to handle the inflamed feet, the aching and tender hands, the gray, wiry hair (okay, so I'm frowning on that one), and so on, all of which have not lasted too long or haven't even shown up on this last round, which ended last Wednesday. But my newest foe are the side effects that go with the high blood pressure medicine I am on, and they may just take me down! Gas, cramps, bloating, diarrhea...if you only knew how humbling that is to share. It's been a long week and it has affected everything from family to work to daily plans and sleep. I'm in touch with the nurse at UCSF, and we are working together to find out how to stop all of this, which all ties in with the chemo and the steroids/lack of adrenal glands. I see Dr. Ryan, my oncologist, next Monday at 11:30, so hopefully we will find a solution at that time.
Sunday, our pastor shared some principles for living through tough times. What appropriate timing for me to hear those, as I was feeling a little sorry for myself. I was reminded of many wonderful verses that take us the way of the cross through those tough times. I was also reminded that 'trouble comes to all; misery, however, is a choice.' Wow. I'm not the only one living with troubles, and I definitely don't want to make the choice of taking those troubles to the misery level. A timely message for me!
I'll update you again after I meet with Dr. Ryan next week. Thank you all for your continued prayers.
Danene
May 4, 2009
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