Our Visit to UCSF

Hello, Friends! Merry Christmas to all!

I had a great two weeks off of medication, feeling like I fully recovered. I visited the podiatrist and he shaved off some of the extra skin that was giving me fits on the bottoms of my feet, cleaning up some of the hard, core areas, in hopes that I will not have such pain on the next round of meds. He advised wearing or buying shoes with a better arch support, to take the pressure off of those areas. I also enjoyed a bit of pampering from a friend in the form of a pedicure.

I started the second round of medication last Friday and am doing well so far. If the side effects are no worse than last time, I will do just fine. The only thing I notice right now is that the pads of my fingers feel just a little bit numb.

Matt and I visited UCSF yesterday afternoon and met with a Urologic Oncologist by the name of Dr. Charles Ryan and a 'fellow', whose name eludes me, who is training with him. They asked a lot of clarifying questions after reviewing my files, and looked at the scans I had brought for them. Then they both came back and shared with us what their thoughts were. To begin with, the fact that I am only 45 (yes, 'only'!), and was in good health before all of this is a really good thing. The other good thing is that the cancer that was removed was considered 'garden variety' and mine, though large, did not seem to go anywhere else and affect any other areas of my body. I'm sure many of you are asking, "Well, what about the spots in your lungs?" Well, the good doctor shared that generally speaking, anything that is less than a half-centimeter is difficult to even test to prove if it is cancerous. So while he is not discounting that they could be, it is not at the top of his list as far as concerns. (They can also be something that stems from living in the valley, which is not uncommon.) Of more concern is the mass that remains near my right kidney. While that also has not proved to be cancerous, the fact that it is there and not doing anything is not necessarily a good thing. Dr. Ryan has asked to present my case to the Tumor Board at UCSF to see what they think of the tumor and what a plan of attack might be. He will also be talking to a surgeon about the possibility of removing it. The surgeon will be looking at what would need to be removed along with it, the possibilities being my remaining adrenal gland, and depending on how it is attached, a portion of my kidney or of my liver. Those are unknowns for now, and more may show up on the next scans.

So...to begin with, I will finish this round of the Sutent. During the two weeks I am off of it, I will go to UCSF for a blood test and scans of my chest, abdomen and pelvis, then meet with Dr. Ryan and hopefully the surgeon to get the results of the scans and from the Tumor Board and the surgeon. The rest depends upon those conversations.

Matt and I felt good when we left UCSF, in that everything that was discussed made sense, and overall there are many good options ahead for me. As we all know, there is no cure for cancer, and in kidney cancer, there is only 15-20% chance of response to treatment, and 5% chance of complete recovery. However, I know Someone who can take it all away, should He choose, and I am standing in the knowledge that that is always a possibility. Please believe with me.

As we enter the last days before Christmas, I want to leave you with something I read in a wonderful book. It is a poem titled "Let the Stable Still Astonish", by Leslie Leyland Fields.

"Let the stable still astonish;
Straw--dirt floor, dull eyes,
Dusty flanks of donkeys, oxen;
Crumbling, crooked walls;
No bed to carry that pain,
And then, the child,
Rag-wrapped, laid to cry
In a trough.
Who would have chosen this?"

"Who would have said" 'Yes.
Let the God of all the heavens
And earth
Be born here, in this place'?
Who but the same God
Who stands in the darker, fouler rooms
of our hearts
and says, 'Yes.
Let the God of Heaven and Earth
be born here-
in this place.'"

If you know our Savior, you understand. If you don't, please let Him into your heart. He's listening for your knock. He came to earth just for you.

Merry Christmas, Danene
December 23, 2008

Round One is Over!

Hello, Friends,

Last Thursday night was my last night of taking the first round of Sutent. I am on a 14 day break now! It's amazing how good that feels mentally and physically. I've slowly seen the side effects go away-no more hot, hard spots of pain on the balls of my feet, the sores in my mouth and throat are gone, my blood pressure is back to a more normal rate, and every little scratch or sore on my hands is not bright red. I also have a lot more energy first thing in the morning and throughout the day. The only thing I am still feeling is the sensitivity on the surface of my tongue.

I saw my family doctor today, as I have a cold and the impulse now and then to cough (so will use the inhaler as needed), and he reviewed the blood test I had last week. Everything is back within normal ranges excepting my platelets which are slightly low. He was pleased with how healthy I look.

I will start the next round of Sutent on the 19th, for 28 days, then have a CT scan following that to see if there is any improvement on the spots in my lungs. (Matt and I will also go to UCSF on the 22nd to meet with a specialist in the Urologic Oncology Dept.) One of the hardest things, I'm sure for any person in my situation, is taking this medication knowing what it might do to me physically, but not knowing if it will do what we ultimately are praying for. Just one more instance of trust.

I know it is past Thanksgiving, but I was asked to share what I am thankful for at our church's Thanksgiving morning service, and I wanted to leave you with what I shared. I've thanked all of you for consistent and fervent prayers, told you about my nurses and doctors, and now need to share about my family. Words cannot completely suffice, but this is what came from my heart that morning:

I’ve always had what I consider a blessed life, but when cancer became a part of my life I decided it was time to count those blessings.

I am blessed to be married to a man who has stuck with me for 21 years through the good, the not-so-good, and the unknown, who tells me daily that he loves me-and means it, and who loves Jesus as much as I do.

I am blessed with three children that touch my heart daily, that have helped me grow into the mom I am, and who I hope know that as much as I love them, Jesus loves them even more.

I am blessed with a mom and a dad who show me in so many ways the depth of their love for me, who have always lived in a way that honors their Lord, who love my family, and who have created a place where our family looks forward to gathering.

I am blessed with a mother and father-in-law who have shown me through the years that they love me as their daughter.

I am blessed with two brothers and their families who I really like being with, who I deeply respect and admire, and who have always, but especially of late, considered it a privilege to pray for me.

I am blessed with friends-new and old-who call, write, email, and stop by to check on me, to encourage me, and to pray for whatever the need might be for that day.

But I am most blessed that Jesus loved me so much that He went to the cross instead of me; that He not only died for my sins, but that He crushed evil on that cross so that I could be assured that while a thing like kidney cancer might be a part of my life, it will never have power over it; and most of all that I have hope for the future that can only come through my relationship with Him.

I am, among all people, most blessed.

Love to all of you, Danene
December 10, 2008