Thus Far

Hello, Friends!

I am two nights away from finishing this third round of chemo, and only through God's grace and your prayers have I made it thus far. The side effects set in on day two of the meds, and pretty much have not let up since then. I have avoided the hard spots on the bottoms of my feet by curling my toes or walking on the outsides of my feet, and now those places have hard callouses, too. My hands are very sensitive to heat, and remain sore most of the time. I have a sore throat, I think because the meds tend to dry me out, but no sores in my mouth. The bottom of my scar still is not healing because of the meds, so is sensitive as it is right at my waist and rubs on my waistband. And then there is the silver in my hair and my eyebrows. Well, that will take some time to get used to! But I will say that through all of this, I am reminded that God has brought me thus far.

I keep referring to 'thus far' as this is a main focus in the Bible study I am a part of on Tuesday mornings. We are studying the life of David in II Samuel. David was living in a beautiful palace, while the Ark of the Covenant was housed in a tent, and this really bothered David. He wanted to build a beautiful house for the Ark, but God said that instead He would establish a house for David. David's response was, "Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me thus far?"

I often think, 'Who am I, Lord, that you want me? That you love me and my family?' I want to become a person only God could make. I want to not just feel better but feel free; not just released but relieved; not just adjusted but transformed. I want God to accomplish something 'so far' that people will look at me and my family and say, "It had to be God!" So I guess that means that I do not focus on the cancer and the chemo and its side effects, but on the cross. If I don't keep my focus there, then it would be too easy for the enemy to talk me into believing that God is not good and does not have my best interests in mind.

So, my friends, please continue to pray for me. Pray for a work in my life, no matter what it involves or what the end result is, that will cause others to question how far God has brought me. Then pray I will have the boldness to share with them His saving grace.

Matt and I will go to San Francisco on March 15th, and on March 16th I will have laparoscopic surgery to remove my right adrenal gland and a small, attached mass. We will only be there one night, if all goes well. We welcome your prayers for the doctors, for me, for my family, and for a chance to share with others how God has already brought me 'thus far'.

Danene - February 24, 2009