What Would You Do If?

Hey all,

It’s been five weeks since my loving wife Danene went home to be with our Lord Jesus Christ.  This time I want to speak just to the guys.  What Would You Do If?

Hey guys.  What would you do if you had to wash, dry and style your wife’s hair because she was unable to do it?  Would you know which side to part it on or how much gel to put in it before you dried it?  Could you dry her hair and use a curling iron?  Would you even know how?   If you needed to put on her make-up, could you do it? Could you pick out her clothes and make them match?  I am going to challenge each of you to sit and watch your wife get ready to go somewhere like church, work, or out to dinner on a date night.

I was able to sit and watch my wife get ready on many occasions over the past twenty-two years; the last time was January 16.  Danene often asked me, “What are you doing?”  I would say, “Watching the woman that God gave me.”   I no longer get to watch her anymore, but I can close my eyes and see her getting ready, over and over again, as if it were yesterday.  I was given the opportunity to bath, wash, dry, style, dress, and care for my wife during the last days of her life.  God gave me the chance to live out my Wedding Vows in sickness and health.  I got to love her when she was healthy, and was given the privilege to love and care for her when she was sick, and she let me.  I may have not been able to do everything just like she would have, but she loved me enough to give me the opportunity.  Danene could have asked someone else, but she wanted me to help.  It was an honor for me to be able to care for her.

Guys, do you know just what makes your wife tick?  Take the time to stop, look, and hear what those things are (and smell the roses along the way).  One activity Danene loved was going on drives anywhere.   I was able to take my wife on a drive in the country just a few days before she passed away, January 26, I think.  Although there had been many rainy days, that day was sunny.  The drive wasn’t long, but it was an outing she needed so she could say goodbye.  The sun was shining in her hair and face, and this trip she did not fall asleep the moment we left Woodbridge, like she normally did.  We drove through the country holding hands like we had hundreds of time before, but this time it was just a little different. I didn’t know it then, but she was saying her goodbyes.  Can you remember the first time you ever held your wife’s hand?   Our first time was when we went roller-skating as chaperones for church kids.  A week later on our first date, we went to see Out of Africa, and I remember her asking, “Why did you ask if you could hold my hand?” My response was, “I didn’t want to offend you.”

 Saturday, January 30, was another sunny afternoon, and I made a way so Danene could to go in her wheelchair on a walk in our neighborhood.  I had installed an oxygen tank directly to the chair so we would not have to drag around the tank separately.  This walk she wanted to be with her mom and Meghan.  However, after Meghan almost crashed Danene’s wheelchair, Velma took over.  Meghan ran back home mad (I think this was a God thing).  It was a time for Velma and Danene to enjoy each other.  It wasn’t a long walk, but Danene was saying goodbye to the neighborhood that she loved.   Later Zac and I were working in the garage, and she wanted to sit in the driveway and enjoy the sun.  She was saying goodbye to the view we enjoyed so often when we would sit and talk while the kids played out front.  She rested there watching Zac work on his bike, and as I helped him, she just smiled. Danene started to get cold so I took her inside.

I don’t quite know why I needed to write down these memories.  Maybe it was a way for me to heal a little, but I just felt compelled to do it. Guys, “Don’t Wait Until It Is Too Late To Learn What It Is That Makes Your Wife Happy”.  Just Do It.  Don’t say “What Would You Do If?”  I was given a gift from God for a short time. “Danene was that gift.”  You, too, have been given a gift, “Your Wife”.  Love her with each breath you breathe, and cherish her.  I will get to see my wife again because I have been given the greatest gift of all which Danene and I both accepted.  “Jesus Is That Gift.”  Don’t let Jesus out of your sight.   But Seek Ye First The Kingdom Of God And His Righteousness, And All These Things Shall Be Added Unto You. Matt 6:33

Danene's Partner in Life, Matt

"A Friend's Thought About Danene"

Hello Friends and Family.
      It's been just a little over a month since my loving wife Danene went home to be with the Lord. A very close family friend wrote the following and I wanted to share it with you all, this touched my heart and I think it may touch your heart as well. Love you all, and thank you for lifting our family up to God during this time.
Danene's Partner in Life, Matt.

Mourning the Loss of Danene

God desires that we manifest His Kingdom here on earth. Janis “Danene” Edalgo was true to this call as a daughter, wife, mother, family member, teacher and friend. Now she joins God’s Kingdom “as it is in heaven.” Danene will be dearly missed by those of us who remain behind –for a time.

It is a challenge to consider something beyond our loss. We know Danene is better off with her Savior, but our emotions want her back. We tell ourselves that God is sovereign, and “all things work together for good,” but our hearts cry, “No!” While we do not understand the timing, nonetheless, there is comfort to be found. Our God is well acquainted with our sorrow and offers hope – if we are willing to receive it.

We are promised that in His presence is “fullness of joy” and “pleasures for evermore.” Danene recognized the surpassing value of God’s presence over all else this life has to offer. If we believe what Danene believed, we must conclude that her life was not tragically “cut short,” but rather “more abundantly” fulfilled. If we trust what God has said, the gain to His Kingdom outweighs our temporary loss. Right now, Danene is experiencing “joy unspeakable” in the presence of her Lord. She joins friends and family who have preceded us. Our Lord loves her more than we possibly can. Others like Louis, Florence, Oliver and Pearl love her too. Would we deny her this reunion merely to delay our grief that is only temporary?

Perhaps had Danene been an unbeliever or spiritually immature, our gracious God would have extended her time here. But Danene had accomplished what God had set out for her to do; successful helpmate, nurturing mother, gifted instructor, and our sister in Christ. But the ultimate proof that she was ready to go Home was her finish. The worse it got, the more determined Danene was to testify of her Savior. 

It is hard to accept that God uses hardship to impress on us what is truly important. Someone once said, “Heaven is a prepared place for a prepared people.” Do we really believe that going to be with Him is better than this life? Danene would say, “His loving kindness is better than life.” She finished strong. Will we?

Yes, we grieve. But let us grieve righteously and keep before us the goal of joining Danene along with so many other friends and loved ones who have preceded us into the presence of the One who has won the victory over death.

“Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall.”  2 Peter 1:10