Father's Day 2010

Dear Family and Friends,

 It’s Father’s Day and my heart has gone out to my father-in-law Roger who did not get a hug from his only daughter. While I know that he believes just as I do that Danene is completely healed and with our Heavenly Father, there is still pain. In church this morning I gave him a big hug and thanked him for the card he sent me for father’s day, we both feel the lost of our dearest Danene. Tonight while the kids and I enjoyed a dinner that was a favorite of Danene’s and we where enjoying the Christian music in the background, and Zac said, “We need to do more of this”. He was talking about family time. With the schedule we have had there has not been much time together, with kids going here and there to help a single dad out I’m trying to work full time, and do the work of a great wife and perfect planner, some times just not enough time in the day. Anybody out there willing to vote for 28-hour days, so that I can know that 8 hours of sleep a night is like, all in support say I, “NO, bummer L.

With the summer in full swing, we all need to remember to stop and enjoy each other. Life just seams to go by so fast, and then we say where did time go. I’m going to challenge you all to stop and talk to your neighbors when you see them, ask them how they are doing and then stop and listen to what they have to say. Invite the people that you have wanted to have over (for the last two years) and do it. Stretch your self a little, who cares if your house is just a little dirty. DO IT ANYWAYS. I’m in the process of having my roof replaced and things are a mess, and I had the baseball team over for a year-end party and then two days later another family came over and I had a BBQ. Our kids swam, and we the adults talked with no electronics, TV, or anything to distract us. It was a great time. This was the first time I had people over that where not family (I stretched myself and didn’t break) Please don’t wait for that special time to take place because that may never happen, do let life pass you by.

Two weeks ago My Family and I form a Relay for Life team for the Lodi event. It came together in the last minutes on the Friday before the event. Time had run out because of being so busy, God knew my heart to have a team of my own and with the help of some new friends it came to pass. Our Team is “A FAMILY THAT BELIEVES” which I felt is fitting. It was my birthday and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend it, and it was fitting because of this years theme “Celebrate More Birthdays” again I think that was a God Thing. We had some one walking for just about all 24-hours of the event, Zac did like 70 laps (and stayed all night), and Meghan did over 40 (about 8-miles). Another Friend Kevin walked for 11:30-4:00 and did 70+ laps. I walked between 4-6am (the time Danene’s had walked the last 3-years). And when the sun came up I just stopped and prayed for all the people I know that are battling cancer, and those that are caring for those people. If you would like to make a donation to “Relay Of Life Lodi” and our team follow the link to this site. http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10CA?team_id=752932&pg=team&fr_id=20443

We will be walking in next year’s event, I have already signed up for it. So talk to me if you would like to be apart of “A FAMILY THAT BELIEVES” as we raise funs for the American Cancer Society.

Lastly our family had the honor of having a story written about us. While it story was about us, I want people to know that it is about our faith in God that helps us endure. Yes it talks about us, I want you all to know that it’s about Christ Jesus Who Strengthens Me and I’m nothing without Him, I’m just a man. Without relationship with my Lord Jesus I would not be who I am, He too can make you complete. If you have a chance please read the article written by my one of my new friends, Jo Ann. She did a great job and I believe she was use by God to give people HOPE when times are tough. Please click on the link or paste it into your address bar and give it a read. http://www.recordnet.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100620/A_LIFE/6200310 . Have the tissues ready, I went through 8-10 of them.

So in closing please take the time to build those relationships that make life flow smoothly. But please do it in this order, God, Your Spouse, Your Kids, Your Family, And Your Friends and Neighbors. If you get things right with God and live in His will and because you have a relationship with Him, He can use you to make a difference in all of the relationships you have. Don’t get caught up in your own little life, let God live life through you, make life about God. Trust me, the blessing God will give you is real!!!

Love you all.

Danene’s Partner In Life, Matt

Enduring

Well, friends and family, it has been a while since I have made a posting.   My goal is to complete one blog entry a month.  So here it goes.

             The Edalgos are enduring.   The kids have finish school and are on summer break.  This Tuesday, June 1, is going to be a big day for the Edalgos.  Brookside School is having a Memorial to honor Danene.  It takes place at 3:20, at 2962 Brookside Road, Stockton.   The Memorial is open to the public, and both Meghan and I will be speaking. Come out and see our family. We hope to see you all there.   The second grade classes will be planting a tree in Danene’s honor as well.

            It has been four months since Danene went to be with the Lord God Almighty, and I’m sure she is having a great time.  But for us on earth, life is moving forward, and my job is just trying to keep up with the kids.  Sometimes I wish there were thirty hours in a day.  I’m back working full-time (4-days a week), and the household seems to run well.  God has put a masterful plan together to make this transition happen.   Yes, God Is Good All The Time.  For me I miss Danene everyday but I don’t have much time to think about her with all of the activities this family is doing all of the time. That’s probably God’s plan as well.

             Meghan completed 5^th grade, and with the help of family and close friends she completed her “State Report and Project” with a perfect 165 points out of 165 possible points. I think she was the only one to get that score.  Meghan has started piano lessons, and is flying through the first book, often completing 2-3 lessons a week.  I have so much fun when she plays a song and sings along.  Her instructor said, “It’s been a long time since she had a chance to teach someone that is such a quick learner.”  Meghan has a very good ear for music, and I can see her as a praise leader in 4-5 years; she has a real passion for music.  This summer Meghan will begin participating in club soccer.

            Regan completed the 7^th grade.  He had to work really hard.   We had him in several AP classes, but in hindsight we should have had him in regular classes.  However, he did very well; he even made Honor Roll one quarter.  But the high point for him was the first baseball game of the year.  On his second at-bat of the game, the bases were loaded, and he hit a shot down the third-base side to clear the bases with a stand-up double.  It was a very proud moment for this dad and his head coach (ME).   When he walk up to me after the hit I said, “Mom would be so proud of you.” When he came off the field he looked at me and said, “Dad, I did that one for Mom.” Yes, I had to walk away; I was a mess.  Regan is leading the team with RBIs, and has played every inning mostly as catcher.  Most importantly, Regan is just having fun.

            Zac is just doing great; he has grown up so much. Danene would be so proud of him. He has had only one setback.   Just last week he broke his nose again for the third time. He though he could box with his buddies (while wearing his facemask). One of Zac’s buddies sucker-punched him because he had the upper hand against the other.  He made Honor Roll, 3.0+ all four quarters.   He never missed a day of school all year.  He loves high school. This past spring he played badminton and made it to JV-1.  On the day of the league tournament, he was called up to Varsity.  He got his Varsity Letter in his freshman year.  This month Zac starts Driver’s Training and will get his permit.   If you’re in Lodi or Woodbridge nowhere may be safe.

            All in all the Edalgos are enduring, but we are missing Danene everyday.  However, with God’s helper, the Holy Spirit, we endure the tough times. Mother’s Day was toughest for me.  I just kept thinking that the kids need to have a mom.  Then I was reminded of the following Scripture. Psalm 68: 3-5. (3) But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God: may they be happy and joyful. (4) Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds—his name is the Lord— and rejoice before him. (5) A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

God is doing that for this family; we are enduring, but it’s because we are choosing to make our lives about serving God no matter where it takes us. The Edalgos will remain in his service and move forward serving the Great I AM, God Almighty and His Son Jesus Christ.

Danene’s Partner In Life, Matt.

The Dream

Hello Friends and Family,

I have had a very tough time over the past ten days or so.  It started with God placing on my heart to do some writing for the blog because writing provides me healing along the way.   It started okay, but I was all over the map with emotion and pain.  I began week ago last Saturday night at 11:00 and didn’t stop writing until about 4:00 the next morning.  I wrote a lot of good stuff, but there is more to write to complete that series of blogs.  However, that was only the beginning of the tough time.

About a year to eighteen months before Danene was diagnosed with kidney cancer, her second cousin, Sharon, was also diagnosed with kidney cancer.   Sharon’s fight with this retched disease has taken a different path from that of Danene, and a week ago Sunday I found out that Sharon is not doing so well.  Sharon was unable to come to Danene’s Celebration of Life service because she was recovering from a surgery (the cancer had shown up in her pancreas).  The latest news was that the cancer came back in other areas, the pancreas and now the lungs.  This news has brought back painful memories for me.  Please be praying for Sharon as she starts on a new path of treatment soon.  I don’t know what type of relationship Sharon had with Jesus when all of this started, but I do know, and she has shared with other family members, that whatever the outcome she is secure in her future with Jesus.  I pray that through her fight others may come to know Jesus just as people have come to know Christ through Danene’s fight.

Everywhere I went this past week I had reminders of my wife; a card she wrote, a picture of her in my office, and note in my lunchbox.  After receiving the news of Sharon, I hurt.  Last Saturday night I wanted to do more writing, but I felt that I needed to spend time with Zac, which was good for both of us.  I went to bed at 12:00 after falling asleep in the recliner; I was awakened by a dream of Danene.  She looked so good; she was whole, healthy, and had a smile that could light up a room.  For those of you who knew her, you know that to be true. I asked Danene a question, “What are you doing here?”  She answered, “I have been given a second chance on life, and I will tell you more about it later.”  With that Danene smiled, and then I woke up.  I was troubled by this dream and for the next two hours I was awake in bed, thinking about what all this meant.  As I listened to her IPod, I thought about the dream.  While I’m not Joseph from the Bible (Genesis 37, and that’s what Pastor Larry spoke about this Sunday morning), I do have an interpretation of the dream.  Let me tell you more details about this dream.

I was driving a truck up a road, and it was raining to the point that I couldn’t see the pavement.  It was dark and then light, then the rain stopped.  The next thing I know, I was driving off road into the mountains, bouncing over rocks and boulders and plowing through the mud. Then I came to a stop, with wrecks and crashed vehicles everywhere.  I got out of the truck and walked to the top of the hill. I heard worship music and there were people all around; it looked like a church picnic, but it was not an ordinary church gathering; it was God’s Church and this scene could be in Heaven.  That’s when I saw Danene.  We walked for just a little while (not saying anything), sat down, and were singing the worship song when I asked her my question.   She gave me a smile and answered, and then pointed to God, the one we were there for.   It was as if Danene wanted me to keep my eyes on God.   So here goes the interpretation of the dream.

The drive and road travelled is the journey we call life.  We travel this path alone, with rain, sunshine, wrecks, crashes, rocks, and mud (and yes, we do get dirty) and then we walk to the top of the hill. Danene has traveled this road.  The second chance in life is this; that we have a chance of Everlasting Life, but only when we have a relationship with the Living God and His Son Jesus Christ.  But we need to be focused on Jesus.  If we make this relationship the priority we don’t need to travel this road alone.  Jesus is there to guide us and direct our path if we allow him. Please don’t lose sight of the prize which is eternity with Jesus in Heaven.  Remember the Scripture I referenced in my last blog, Matthew 6:33; don’t just seek Jesus first, but seek HIS RIGHTOUSNESS, also.  Then read the promise in verse 34.

Join me in the journey of life and be focused on Jesus, and you too will see your loved ones that have gone before you.  I know that I will get to see Danene someday and until that day comes, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

There are two songs that I have listened to a number of times.  The first one is Matthew West’s, “Save a Place for Me”.   The song that helped put these thoughts together this morning is by Mercy Me, “Homesick”.   Please take the time to listen to the words of these songs that help me get through this journey called life.  

You will hear from me soon with other blogs as God directs me because life is not about me, it’s about God.

Danene’s partner in life, Matt.

What Would You Do If?

Hey all,

It’s been five weeks since my loving wife Danene went home to be with our Lord Jesus Christ.  This time I want to speak just to the guys.  What Would You Do If?

Hey guys.  What would you do if you had to wash, dry and style your wife’s hair because she was unable to do it?  Would you know which side to part it on or how much gel to put in it before you dried it?  Could you dry her hair and use a curling iron?  Would you even know how?   If you needed to put on her make-up, could you do it? Could you pick out her clothes and make them match?  I am going to challenge each of you to sit and watch your wife get ready to go somewhere like church, work, or out to dinner on a date night.

I was able to sit and watch my wife get ready on many occasions over the past twenty-two years; the last time was January 16.  Danene often asked me, “What are you doing?”  I would say, “Watching the woman that God gave me.”   I no longer get to watch her anymore, but I can close my eyes and see her getting ready, over and over again, as if it were yesterday.  I was given the opportunity to bath, wash, dry, style, dress, and care for my wife during the last days of her life.  God gave me the chance to live out my Wedding Vows in sickness and health.  I got to love her when she was healthy, and was given the privilege to love and care for her when she was sick, and she let me.  I may have not been able to do everything just like she would have, but she loved me enough to give me the opportunity.  Danene could have asked someone else, but she wanted me to help.  It was an honor for me to be able to care for her.

Guys, do you know just what makes your wife tick?  Take the time to stop, look, and hear what those things are (and smell the roses along the way).  One activity Danene loved was going on drives anywhere.   I was able to take my wife on a drive in the country just a few days before she passed away, January 26, I think.  Although there had been many rainy days, that day was sunny.  The drive wasn’t long, but it was an outing she needed so she could say goodbye.  The sun was shining in her hair and face, and this trip she did not fall asleep the moment we left Woodbridge, like she normally did.  We drove through the country holding hands like we had hundreds of time before, but this time it was just a little different. I didn’t know it then, but she was saying her goodbyes.  Can you remember the first time you ever held your wife’s hand?   Our first time was when we went roller-skating as chaperones for church kids.  A week later on our first date, we went to see Out of Africa, and I remember her asking, “Why did you ask if you could hold my hand?” My response was, “I didn’t want to offend you.”

 Saturday, January 30, was another sunny afternoon, and I made a way so Danene could to go in her wheelchair on a walk in our neighborhood.  I had installed an oxygen tank directly to the chair so we would not have to drag around the tank separately.  This walk she wanted to be with her mom and Meghan.  However, after Meghan almost crashed Danene’s wheelchair, Velma took over.  Meghan ran back home mad (I think this was a God thing).  It was a time for Velma and Danene to enjoy each other.  It wasn’t a long walk, but Danene was saying goodbye to the neighborhood that she loved.   Later Zac and I were working in the garage, and she wanted to sit in the driveway and enjoy the sun.  She was saying goodbye to the view we enjoyed so often when we would sit and talk while the kids played out front.  She rested there watching Zac work on his bike, and as I helped him, she just smiled. Danene started to get cold so I took her inside.

I don’t quite know why I needed to write down these memories.  Maybe it was a way for me to heal a little, but I just felt compelled to do it. Guys, “Don’t Wait Until It Is Too Late To Learn What It Is That Makes Your Wife Happy”.  Just Do It.  Don’t say “What Would You Do If?”  I was given a gift from God for a short time. “Danene was that gift.”  You, too, have been given a gift, “Your Wife”.  Love her with each breath you breathe, and cherish her.  I will get to see my wife again because I have been given the greatest gift of all which Danene and I both accepted.  “Jesus Is That Gift.”  Don’t let Jesus out of your sight.   But Seek Ye First The Kingdom Of God And His Righteousness, And All These Things Shall Be Added Unto You. Matt 6:33

Danene's Partner in Life, Matt

"A Friend's Thought About Danene"

Hello Friends and Family.
      It's been just a little over a month since my loving wife Danene went home to be with the Lord. A very close family friend wrote the following and I wanted to share it with you all, this touched my heart and I think it may touch your heart as well. Love you all, and thank you for lifting our family up to God during this time.
Danene's Partner in Life, Matt.

Mourning the Loss of Danene

God desires that we manifest His Kingdom here on earth. Janis “Danene” Edalgo was true to this call as a daughter, wife, mother, family member, teacher and friend. Now she joins God’s Kingdom “as it is in heaven.” Danene will be dearly missed by those of us who remain behind –for a time.

It is a challenge to consider something beyond our loss. We know Danene is better off with her Savior, but our emotions want her back. We tell ourselves that God is sovereign, and “all things work together for good,” but our hearts cry, “No!” While we do not understand the timing, nonetheless, there is comfort to be found. Our God is well acquainted with our sorrow and offers hope – if we are willing to receive it.

We are promised that in His presence is “fullness of joy” and “pleasures for evermore.” Danene recognized the surpassing value of God’s presence over all else this life has to offer. If we believe what Danene believed, we must conclude that her life was not tragically “cut short,” but rather “more abundantly” fulfilled. If we trust what God has said, the gain to His Kingdom outweighs our temporary loss. Right now, Danene is experiencing “joy unspeakable” in the presence of her Lord. She joins friends and family who have preceded us. Our Lord loves her more than we possibly can. Others like Louis, Florence, Oliver and Pearl love her too. Would we deny her this reunion merely to delay our grief that is only temporary?

Perhaps had Danene been an unbeliever or spiritually immature, our gracious God would have extended her time here. But Danene had accomplished what God had set out for her to do; successful helpmate, nurturing mother, gifted instructor, and our sister in Christ. But the ultimate proof that she was ready to go Home was her finish. The worse it got, the more determined Danene was to testify of her Savior. 

It is hard to accept that God uses hardship to impress on us what is truly important. Someone once said, “Heaven is a prepared place for a prepared people.” Do we really believe that going to be with Him is better than this life? Danene would say, “His loving kindness is better than life.” She finished strong. Will we?

Yes, we grieve. But let us grieve righteously and keep before us the goal of joining Danene along with so many other friends and loved ones who have preceded us into the presence of the One who has won the victory over death.

“Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall.”  2 Peter 1:10

More to come.

Dear Friends and Family. I will be sharing with you the last weeks of Danene's life. I will share what we went through, how “God Showed Her Compassion and Mercy” during her death. “How God’s Plan is Perfect”. “How a Loving Wife Completed Her Husband”. From my heart as a husband “Are You Loving Your Wife” and “What Would You Do…If, Would You Know”. If God calls me to write more I will let myself be lead to do so.

I love you all and thankful for the prayers and encouragements you all have showed our family and my loving wife Danene.

Please come with me as the journey continues. With God’s Help  the Edalgo’s will Endure.

In Gods Service, Matt

Not the End, But just the beginning of Life Everlasting with Christ

Remembering

Janis "Danene" Edalgo

 

Janis “Danene” Edalgo, 46 of Woodbridge went home to be with Jesus on Sunday, January 31, 2010.  A native of Lodi she was born February 10, 1963 and graduated from Lodi High as part of the class of 1981.  Danene furthered her education with a Bachelors of Arts degree in Education from Oral Roberts University in 1985, began teaching for the Lincoln Unified School District in 1985, and for the last 14 years has taught at Brookside Elementary School in Stockton.

She is survived by her husband, Matthew Edalgo of Woodbridge, three children, Zac, Regan and Meghan Edalgo all of Woodbridge, her parents, Roger and Velma Stafford of Lodi, two brothers Rev. Rodney Stafford (Molly) of Portland, Oregon and Dr. Gary Stafford (Cynthia) of Pleasanton, CA. her parents-in-law, Ralph and Beverly Edalgo of Lodi, Brothers-in-law Mike and Mark Edalgo both of Stockton and sister-in-law Patty Edalgo of Lodi as well as many nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews.

Danene had a passion for her Lord, family and children. She attended Bethel Open Bible Church throughout her life.  One of her favorite ministries was discipling 6th graders through the church Cross Training program.  She taught young couples how to build stronger families through the Growing Kids God’s Way program. She was involved with Operation Christmas Child that is part of the Samaritan’s Purse. She was an active participant in the Relay For Life of Lodi.  Danene loved her family and became the epitome of a soccer mom, although her involvement also included football, softball, swimming, baseball and cheerleading.

A celebration of her life will be held on Saturday, February 6, 2010 at 10:00 AM at the Bethel Open Bible Church 760 S. Ham Lane Lodi.   Inurnment will be private at Cherokee Memorial Park.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in her name to Relay For Life of Lodi, Shoeboxes to: Samaritan’s Purse P.O. Box 801 Bamboo Rd. Boone, NC 28607 or to the Trust Fund established for the benefit of the children, a Fidelity Scholar Share 529 Plan has been established, checks should be made payable to “FA 529 Plan”.  In the memo section please indicate Edalgo. Please mail your contribution to Gary LaMusga, The LaMusga Co, 1280 Civic Drive, #210, Walnut Creek, CA 94596 or call 925-287-1567.